Domestic violence survivor breaks silence on abuse

BISMARCK, N.D. (KFYR) - The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence says one in four women and one in nine men are victims of physical violence at the hands of a partner. October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. One survivor decided this month was the one to finally speak out about her experience with abuse.

Mary, who preferred that we not show her face and keep her last name confidential, was married for 40 years. During that time, she says she experienced emotional and physical abuse from her now ex-husband.

“The abuse didn’t stop. At least once a month. I just knew in my heart that it was time to go,” said Mary.

Mary said the abuse from her former husband was unbearable.

“He hit me in the face so hard my glasses broke. I had bruises on my chin and by my eye, and I lied. I went to work and said I got hit by a volleyball,” said Mary.

Her divorce was finalized in 2018.

“He was physical with me the day before I left. My heart was becoming so hard. I had just had it. I could feel myself not liking him anymore, and that’s not me,” said Mary.

She decided to share her experiences for the first time in a post on a friend’s blog this month. She said the death of Gabby Petito, the 22-year-old who was reported missing after a cross country road-trip with her fiancé, pushed her to come forward with her own story.

“When I saw that, I just said, ‘I think you’re ready, Mary.’ I think you’re ready to say something. It’s about time,” said Mary.

Support groups at the Abused Adult Resource Center helped her realize the extent of the abuse she experienced.

“They may identify they need assistance with three things. Sometimes we have to figure out what’s the thing that needs attention the most, the soonest,” said Courtney Monroe Rykman, direct services supervisor with the Abused Adult Resource Center.

Mary hopes her story will encourage other people to get the help they need.

“If I can leave a situation like that, I know other women can too,” said Mary.

Her message to anyone experiencing abuse, just like the title of one of her favorite books, is to never give up.

There are multiple ways to contact the Abused Adult Resource Center if you’re experiencing domestic violence. Go to https://www.abusedadultresourcecenter.com/ to learn more.

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